ALONE
Just reading or saying the word "alone" seems to convey a feeling of separation and longing. After an incident that happened to me some 75 years ago, I find myself still reflecting on that incident as if it happened yesterday. It gave me a permanent understanding of being "alone", even at my tender age. Being alone is not a good feeling,
even if it is only temporary. We are living in an age of separation, and loneliness is a major health problem.
I not only remember that incident from childhood, but I can actually picture the setting. My parents owned a busy country store in a rural area. Upon occasion, someone or a family without transportation would call my parents and ask if we could deliver some groceries or a specific item. Mom and Dad had a very good business, and making a delivery was difficult. However they knew the circumstances of most of the area's families, and realized hardships they faced. Usually these requests represented a real need, and my parents were tuned to helping neighbors and customers. That was one of the reasons their business was go successful.
It was summertime, so the mid part of most weekdays was the only time that activity at the store might be slow. This enabled my mother to accommodate requests for delivery. I would accompany my mother as she made the rare deliveries. This was the time shortly
before World War II, and the nation was still recovering from the Great Depression. Most rural families and people were poor, although farmers who owned their farms were making out better. Continued recovery began to speed up at this time, and really took off when we entered the war. The war replaced the depression as our major problem.
On this occasion, a relatively young widow without a car or local kinfolk called and asked if we could deliver some things for her. She had a modest list of mostly groceries, and my folks had the time, so mother gathered the items together, and off we went. Because the order was sparse, it was evident she was on very limited income. There
were no frills. Even at my tender age, I realized she was still living in the hard times of the depression. She was cheerful and very happy for our visit.
As I reflect back on that visit, I realize she was starved for company and someone to talk to and share a life. Being a conservative and rural area, there was a stigma with certain conditions. A divorced woman was partially ostracized by most of the people. Divorce was something you didn't do, and church people were not forgiving. If you were different, you were not in the mainstream. A widow "enjoyed" a little higher status
than a divorcee. Religion was a man dominated society. A divorced man was not set aside as was the divorced woman.
Some of the churched rural families were dominated by the husband as some denominations taught, not understanding the full directions in Ephesians, chapter five. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such
thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. (5:25-27) It seemed the biblical instructions stopped after Ephesians 5: 22-24. Verse 22 instructs "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." That's a pretty good deal for a man if he doesn't read the remainder of the chapter, including 5:28, "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself."
Women who were divorced in those days didn't have a safety net of any kind. The safety net social programs were just being formed, and the women were mostly shunned by church people. Widows fared better, and were not simply cast "alone at sea." I'm certain these women felt like a shipwrecked sailor. I was really young, but I recognized the need of aloneness. I had a solid family and security, and friends and relatives for emergency assistance. This lady was truly alone, and poor as well.
Being so young, I was impatient about what seemed like hours there as my mother talked with the lady. She was starved for human companionship. My mother tried to explain the feeling, but I had never experienced anything like that, so it was years later before I acquired an understanding. The worst time of the year occurs at the major family
holidays--Thanksgiving and Christmas. If you are not a "heart" committed Christian, you are really alone at these times. Without Christ, you are in a "Me" situation rather than a "We" situation. You are also unlikely to find yourself in a future meaningful We situation with a human to form a trinity.
To be alone and physically healthy when you're young isn't so bad because you usually have options. When you're older and have health issues is another matter. If you have responsible children or a caring adult friend, you will cherish their assistance. Unfortunately for some families, the children don't respond and sometimes create additional problems. They don't respect the directions of the Ten Commandments.
Ex. 20:12 tells us, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you." We are living in the age of grace, but the Ten Commandments are still in effect. The son or daughter that fails to help a parent in a precarious situation will have to answer for the inaction. Worse yet, I've seen the
uncaring offspring actually try to "put away" the parent.
When there is no advocate for the person, they are at the mercy of physicians and other health care people. Some are very good, and others aren't. Some workers in the profession are only there for the paycheck. All are overworked, because, like everything in America, it's usually a bottom line issue. There is only so much money, and when cuts are necessary, staff is pared. God is in control, and you should pursue your relationship with Christ with vigor. If you are sufficiently "tuned in", the Holy Spirit will help you. Unfortunately this does not help a non Christian or a professing Christian who is described by Christ.
If a professing Christian tells Christ he/she has performed wonders in His name (Matt.7:22), they will have to have proven evidence of obeying the will of God (Matt.7:21). Otherwise, Christ tells us He never knew them (Matt. 7:23). A non Christian is pretty
much on his/her own. That's why, if you don't have a child or friend as an advocate, you'd better solidify your relationship with God. Even with excellent care, a person without a child or advocate can be traumatized by loneliness.
When I was hospitalized for a few days, a doctor came to see me and asked how I'd like to go home the next day. I responded cheerfully that was an offer I was certain no one would refuse. He had a sad expression when he told me that was not always true. He explained some people had no one to go home to. They were alone in the world. How can you respond to that? I've always taken family support for granted.
There were other instances where I saw how important the companionship of someone could be. As I waited for my appointment, I saw an elderly couple come in. They were arm in arm, and you could see the comfort they experienced by knowing someone who cared
was with them. In therapy I saw people in a much worse condition than me struggle to overcome handicaps. Some of these patients were visited nearly every day by a spouse, son or daughter. It was obvious that having a loved one there to help them and cheer them on was a very big plus on the road to recovery. I was very blessed to have a wife and daughter to support me in every way.
I can't even imagine how alone a young child would feel if they had to travel across a strange country or two trying to get away from poverty and crime. Not only are they completely alone; they are greeted in strange places by people who hate them. Parents
who send their children on a trek such as this show love and desperation for the child's future. Those in war torn countries are even in worse situations.
All humans were created by God in the likeness of Him and His Son, Jesus Christ. That includes all nationalities, colors and religions. Christ tells us not to turn away little children, and He tells us that in three of the gospels. It takes lots of time and money to care for children who cross into our nation, but if we are really following The Way, it is clear what we should do. One conservative told Vice President Biden that these children are "his" children, and he should pay the cost. Now, here is a clean decision for a Christian. Do we follow Christ's teaching, or do we value money over the Cross? America is loaded with billionaires and millionaires and sends foreign aid everywhere. Are we so greedy that those with dollars to burn and average Americans will turn children away? Sending them away pretty well settles their short future. America was mostly built by people who came here to build a future. Our nation will be judged by how we listen to Christ's teaching. It doesn't look too good as everything seems to be based on dollars rather than the cross.
Rev. Walbear